Everyone wonders and argues when I say phones like the Nokia N95 or any other smartphone is WAY better than the iPhone. They go on and on about how awesome it is. Anyway, not to go on on forever about the IShit, here’s an insight into why all Apple fan boys/girls need to insert live grenades into their rectal cavitiies.

Here’s the deal, if I act like I know more than you or am generally acting better than you, chances are that I AM FUCKING BETTER THAN YOU! There will always be someone more intelligent or whatever than you (in this case, me) and I’m fine with that, but when it so happens that you’re level of intelligence barely reaches that of a pimple on an amoebas ass, I can, in all fairness, class myself as better than you. I see no reason to apologise for being better than you, simply for the reason that it’s your own inbred family that has led you to be as mentally retarded as you are. If you can’t fucking keep up, then do something about it. Here’s an idea, DIE!

If you know more than me (which a HUGE number of people do) than brilliant, you have my respect. Whereas if you have’nt yet managed to reach my puny level of intelligence, than tough, I’m not going to dumb myself down just so your pathetic existence has some meaning.

Now, before you start fapping away at the keyboard telling me how each person is individual, because, fair point is what I say, I’m not going to take the piss (pfft) if I think you’re a retard, I’ll only do that if you actively piss me off with your stupidity.

All in all, if your better than me, I’ll know it, so why not take the hint and realise it if I’m better than you.

Oh, as always, I couldn’t care less about your opinion, so please, try and keep them to yourself.

Dumbass.

~ Izzy

Vagina Dentata.

Yup, exactly what it says there, toothed vagina. Some of you might be wondering what the hell I’ve been smoking, and I can honestly say, not much. Here’s the story.

A bored teenager (your’s truly) is bored (you got that from the first part, but I’m showing just how bored I really was) so he decides to look up on Google for a list of horror movies worth watching. During this “research” session, he stumbles upon Teeth. After deciding to have a closer look at this movie, he uses wikipedia (who doesn’t?). There it said the Teeth is a horror movie about a chick with a toothed vagina. Seeing as he’s only come across toothed vaginas in his early years due to it featuring prominantly in myths and legends, he thought “WOAH!”. I mean, everyone knows what they say about curiosity killing the cat and such, but screw the cat, A CHICK WITH A TOOTHED VAGINA! How cool is that? (in a disturbing sort of way, that involves “other” people losing their penises and stuff). So without further ado, a copy was obtained and many a LOL followed.

Thats the story, but heres what made the movie so awesome:-

1. Chick with toothed vagina
2. Loads of rapists type people lose their penises
3. Chick with toothed vagina
4. Dog eats penis
5. Chick with toothed vagina
6. The way the guy’s act after they lose their penises (This should be #1 in all fairness, it’s hilarious)
7. You guessed it, chick with toothed vagina

So theres the good things, but theres a few bad too, and I might aswel tell you now so you don’t end up wondering.

1. You don’t actually “see” the toothed vagina (biggest let-down EVER)
2. After a bit of research, apparently there have been a couple of cases of documeted vagina dentata
3. It WILL make you check before you screw that one-night stand you picked up (wear a gauntlet just in case)

The movie is worth watching. Specially the part where she’s at the gynocologist’s . That is easily the funniest and best scene in the whole movie. So if you want to see a movie with plent of laugh out loud potential, this is a good bet.